The Cost of Mentoring
You have undoubtedly heard from our ABNWT team and many others that mentoring the next generation of leaders is paramount to the church's future.
Focusing on all of mentoring's benefits would be easy without truly counting the costs. Let me assure you, all the costs are worth it—every time!
One of the breakout sessions at PAOC's General Conference in Niagara Falls in 2024 was dedicated to this topic.
Costs discussed included:
Ministry Quality
Efficiency
Personal Blind Spots
Time, Effort and Energy
Ego & Insecurities
The last one – ego – is the one I had the privilege of presenting.
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One of my favourite seasons of ministry was my time in youth ministry, focused on junior high schoolers when I was in my 30s. Yeah, that's right—I was an 'old' junior high pastor. I quickly realized that the generation gaps would be a challenge to cross, and my most effective way to bridge them would be to invest in leaders who would invest in students.
My youth leaders would become the heroes of our youth ministry. I would share platform, authority, and responsibility with them to maximize our impact.
This worked well in our context. Students had relatable and fun leaders who engaged them on their level, leaders who would intentionally disciple students. At the same time, I could focus on ensuring that the leaders were cared for, equipped, and empowered.
When it became time for 'God's next' for me, when my time in youth ministry was drawing to a close, this 'ego' price tag became all too obvious.
The students weren't going to miss me—they were barely going to notice. They had their heroes—their leaders. I had built a strong enough team to be replaceable, and that ego stroke of feeling important, needed and missed—I messed that up by investing in others.
It was a hard pill to swallow.
When we make others the heroes, when we share the spotlight, the platform, and the authority, when we get out of the way so others can reach their potential, it reveals my insecurities and my needy ego.
Because if I mentor others, I likely won't get the recognition I 'deserve.'
Is anyone going to notice what I built? Is anyone going to see it?
Reminder: the only thing that matters is He sees.
God sees. He sees the ripple effect of your life far better than you do.
If you resonate with any part of this, if you'd like to set aside your ego and insecurities for the legacy God has for you, here are a few things to pay attention to.
1. Identity
It starts with a firmly rooted identity in Christ, a daily connectedness with God, and receiving your recognition from Him instead of those around you.
I know all about this. I'm a recovering people-pleaser, and I relapse often.
May we find our worth in Christ alone. When we know who we are in Christ, we don't need validation from others nearly as much.
We are sons and daughters of the most high God.
We are set apart.
We are a masterpiece, chosen to display His good work.
We are enough.
2. Share Generously
Give it away—the platform, the authority, the recognition.
Take time to call potential out of those around you, inspiring belief in someone who hasn't seen it yet.
Then, back that up by providing a platform and sharing the stage.
Allow your people to dream with you and create with you. They don't need you to develop a vision for your ministry on your own—they need to be a part of creating it. They can hear God's voice, too. Allow them to be involved and watch the ownership grow.
3. Step back and release
When the time comes, step back and watch others flourish (and fail sometimes – that's ok too – that's another one of the costs of mentoring)
Yeah, you'll miss out on some of the recognition, and you might not feel all the praise that feels so good. But God sees. Rest in that. Enjoy that. He's keeping track of the things that matter. You don't need the recognition of man nearly as much as you think you do.
Your identity is in Christ. Your security is in Him.
You will be one to share the authority—to give it away. To watch others flourish well beyond your capacity.
You will step back and release.
You will count the cost of mentoring and enjoy God's smile as He allows your legacy to live well beyond you and the mist that is your life.
Kevin is the husband to Kristin, dad to Livia, Lincoln, and Lennon, and serves as NextGen Coach for ABNWT. Kevin has a passion to see women and men discover and grow in their unique, God-given purpose.