Moving On From Ministry Disappointments By Bob Jones
Some things in ministry you rely on, are like a sure thing. And when they let you down it shakes your faith, right where you stand. Disappointment is a sense of loss for something you never had.
To a leader, disappointment is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.
Moving On From 5 Common Ministry Disappointments
1. When your biggest supporter becomes your biggest critic.
It’s easier to forgive an enemy than it is to forgive a friend. All too often those who are the first to support a new pastor or a new initiative, become the first to resist. Your trust is betrayed. It’s all too easy to ignore the hurt. When we refuse to work with our disappointment, we break the process; rather than experience the disappointment we resort to anger, greed, gossip, or criticism. If you're betrayed, release disappointment at once. By that way, the bitterness has no time to take root.
When you experience disappointment from the way your church family or others treat you, that’s the time to take special care of yourself. What are you doing to nurture yourself? What are you doing to protect yourself?
2. When the infrastructure (or fill in the blank ___________) is in much worse shape than you thought.
Confidence is what you have before you fully understand the situation. Since Jesus brings us new life, it is all the more disappointing when a church, the bearer of good news, is bare with such bad news. Dysfunctional systems, waning resolve to progress, careless attention to details, or the faithful’s preoccupation with trivial pursuits can sap the life out of a ministry leader. Recalibrate and move forward.
3. When your support network disappears.
Depend on someone, and you might as well admit you're going to be crushed, because when you really need him or her, they won't be there. Cynical? Realistic. A leader’s job is to define reality. When you face reality you can cope with anything. Volunteers move away, get tired, have changing family dynamics, or leave for another church. Build a new network. Disappointing outcomes are opportunities for someone unexpected to step up at your invitation.
4. When your church continues to decline despite your best efforts.
What if your best is not enough? Don’t quit. Your best will be enough the next time. Or the time after that. Leaders love taking risks and being on the edge. Every effort won’t succeed. Leaders aren’t fazed because they don’t allow decline to become a destiny.
5. When the process takes much longer than you ever imagined.
Taking longer sometimes has to do with unrealistic expectations. It can take me twice (or thrice) as long to do something as I think it should. If you want to know if God is in a plan, a clue is if it is happening slowly. What God could do in an instant, He often chooses to do in a process. We think the proof is in the product. God knows the proof is in the process.
I agree with H. Jackson Brown, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Move on.
Bob Jones is the founder of REVwords.com, an author, blogger, and coach with 39 years of pastoral experience. Bob is also an Advance Coach with the ABNWT Resource Centre. You can connect with Bob here.