It's Okay To Grieve
COVID-19 restrictions have turned our lives upside down, altering our well laid plans. From graduations, weddings, funerals, holidays, to little league we have had to give up, let go of and relinquish plans to celebrate milestones, bid farewell to loved ones and patiently wait for the day when we are given permission to restart activities.
We’ve become creative with finding some alternatives, like drive by birthdays and standing outside the windows of loved ones. But loss is still loss and it’s okay to be disappointed, to lament on what wasn’t and to grieve what might have been.
Let Yourself be Disappointed
Part of grieving is accepting the reality of the situation, including unmet expectations and the loss of a shared experience. None of us will be able to turn back time to recapture lost moments. Ministry programming and outreach events that you’ve invested hours of hard work and resources into may just need to be stored for now. While you do need to embrace the now, you also need to allow yourself to be disappointed.
Lament
This involves expressing loss. It might be a poem, painting, journal entry, song, rant or some means to expressing your feelings of loss. There’s an entire book in the Bible named for it and it’s a healthy thing to do.
Celebrate the Main Thing
For every occasion and event there is a purpose. A wedding celebrates a marriage, a funeral remembers a life, a graduation marks a milestone of educational achievement, a community carnival is a way of presenting God’s love. Find new ways to celebrate the main thing. Be creative, be simple, be intentional and be thankful.
What are you grieving? What do you need to grieve?
Matthew Swinamer is a professional engineer with over a decade of experience working across various sectors of the Canadian energy industry. He has been married to his wife, Heidi, for ten years, and together they lead Master’s Counselling Services, a faith-based counselling practice in Calgary providing a wide range of psychotherapeutic services, supporting individuals, couples and families in mental, emotional, and spiritual health. As a mental health advocate, Matthew is passionate about breaking the stigma surrounding mental health in both faith communities and society at large, especially in male-dominated environments, industries and workplaces. He is currently pursuing his Master of Divinity at Fuller Seminary in Pasadena, California, where he continues to explore the intersection of faith, mental health, and leadership. Matthew and Heidi live just outside of Calgary, Canada, with their furry ‘practice child’ Lily ( a seven-year-old golden retriever dog).