How to Have Successful Family Services

Co-authored by Kathy Zelman & Britney Hinecker (ABNWT CM Intern)

In many churches, "Family Services" have become a necessity because of a lack of volunteers, insufficient kids' spaces, or because it is Summer, which is typically when the Kids' Ministry volunteers take a break. For a visiting family or a family who really prefers Children's Ministry programming in the summer, this could be why that family does not return or relocates to another church. Even worse, they decide to take a break from attending church altogether.   

What about taking a different approach or changing our perspective by looking at "Family Services" as an opportunity for intergenerational experiences? Often, the default is providing "busy bags" with colouring pages or Bible puzzles and treats to keep kids preoccupied. How about looking at the intergenerational congregation and intentionally planning an experience for everyone in the room? 

"How do you do that?" you may be thinking. I thought you'd never ask! Here are some ideas for good practices in family services:

1. Have a "Kids Moment" – where you have someone in the congregation (if you feel you can't do it yourself) who can engage people to do a 5–8-minute mini-lesson on the topic that will be covered in the sermon that Sunday. In this mini-lesson, you can use an object lesson, do a skit, play a game with the purpose of revealing the main point, tell a story with visuals, or watch a newscast or talk show about the sermon topic. Make sure the main point is clearly delivered and it provides a good lead into the sermon.  

Kids Greeting at BP Church in Calgary

2. Give next-generation opportunities to service and participate in elements of the service – doing a song that kids can do and understand during worship time. Creating a kids' leadership team that can lead a song, read/recite Scripture, help with greeting, be part of the sermon, and help with your refreshment time/café post-service.

3. Whoever is delivering the sermon should be someone who can speak to a multiage group with simple language and be engaging. Here are some suggestions:

Kids Leading at BP Church in Calgary

  • Do an illustrated sermon.

  • Include objects in your talk.

  • Do an experiment.

  • Draw/paint the scene or keywords from the sermon.

  • Create/include excellent slides for visual learners.

  • Use different teaching methods to reflect the various learning styles in the room. (I recommend 3).

  • Invite audience participation through interactive opportunities, such as questions, illustrating a point, and prayer time. 

4. Good rapport with people of all ages is critical for their engagement with your message. Take opportunities inside and outside of the message to build relationships from your youngest congregants to your oldest congregants.

Kids Leading in Prayer at BP Church in Calgary

5. Always include an invitation for heart transformation at the conclusion of the message. Children make the most important decisions about faith, values, and spiritual disciplines during their childhood and youth years. The greatest benefit to this practice is that their parents can be part of their spiritual transformation.

  • Churches across the U.S. and around the world are finding exciting and workable ways to bring the generations together for worship, service, story-sharing, and even for learning.

    • Inviting the youngest among us as well as the oldest to sing in the choir or on the praise team, to lead a prayer, and to read Scripture signals to all that the gifts of everyone in the church can be used.

    • Parents and other adults joining the teens for a service day, not just as chaperones but as fellow labourers, creates openings for cross-age relationships to grow.

    • Creating ways for children, teens, emerging adults, young adults, middle adults, and older adults to share stories of how God has moved in their lives indicates that God is at work in the lives of all.

    Bringing the Generations Back Together by Holly Catterton Allen | Jan 2, 2024 | Intergenerational Ministry. Holly Allen is a professor of Christian ministries and Family Science at Lipscomb University in Nashville, TN.

    Source: https://thepastorsworkshop.com/intergenerational-ministry/generational-ministry/

  • Intergenerational learning incorporates a variety of methods, approaches, and activities that actively engage people in the learning process and respond to their different ages and learning styles. Specifically, intergenerational learning programs: 

    1. Respect the variety of learning styles among the participants with a diversity of learning experiences, recognizing that some people learn best through direct, hands-on, concrete experiences; some through reflective observation; some through exploration and analysis of knowledge, theories, and concepts; and others through active experimentation with the new knowledge and practices. (For further information, see Experiential Learning: Experience as the Source of Learning and Development, David Kolb, Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1984.)

    2. Recognize the multiple intelligences among the participants and design learning methods and activities that address the variety of intelligences in the group. Incorporating learning activities that teach to the different intelligences provides different ways for people to learn or "know" a particular concept, Bible story, or belief. While not every program can incorporate activities for all eight intelligences, having a greater variety of ways to learn promotes more effective learning and engages people of all ages more fully in the learning experience. 

    The multiple intelligences identified by Howard Gardner include: 

    • verbal-linguistic (word smart, book smart)

    • logical-mathematical (number smart, logic smart)

    • visual-spatial (art smart, picture smart)

    • bodily-kinesthetic (body smart, movement smart)

    • musical-rhythmic (music smart, sound smart)

    • naturalist (nature smart, environment smart)

    • interpersonal (people smart, group smart)

    • intrapersonal (self smart, introspection smart)

    (For further information, see Howard Gardner's work and the book 7 Kinds of Smart: Identifying and Developing Your Many Intelligences by Thomas Armstrong.) 

    3. Utilize as many of the five senses as possible where people can see, taste, smell, touch, and hear things related to the topic of the session. Each of our senses can provide a means of experiencing the world and engaging in holistic learning. Children do this with intuitive ease, but adults can be helped to rediscover the power of the five senses in a learning experience. This process is often easier for adults in an intergenerational context. Immersing people in images and the visual nature of learning is especially important in an image-driven culture. Younger generations hear with their eyes. Images, art, and film are integral to effective learning today.

    4. Encourage participation of all participants while at the same time ensuring that people are not coerced into situations in which they feel too high a level of discomfort. There is a need to balance activities based on cognitive/abstract thought processes on one hand and affective/concrete processes on the other. Learning programs need to provide for meaningful, nonthreatening interaction between people across generational barriers. Include collaborative learning, where people can work together on projects and activities and present what they are learning to the whole community.

    5. Incorporate real-life applications by engaging people in practicing and performing what they are learning by incorporating real-life application activities in the learning experience. Practice is a part of the learning process, not the result of it. Intergenerational learning helps people apply their learning to daily living as Christians. During the sessions, participants experience new ways to practice their faith, which promotes the transfer of learning from the session to their daily lives as individuals and families.

    6. Utilize participants' experience and prior knowledge they bring to the session. Participants need the opportunity to build on their knowledge, as well as to learn from each other.

    Source: Generations Together by Jim Merhaut and John Roberto, (Chapter 5) pp. 120-121.

Resources:


ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Kathy Zelman

Kathy has worked with kids and families for over 30 years in church settings (small, medium, cross-cultural, large and mega-sized churches), school settings and early childhood settings. She is presently the Children and Family Ministries specialist at the ABNWT District Resource Centre. She thrives on collaborating and coaching leaders, helping them thrive.

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