Compassion Fatigue - Early Warning Signs
You may have heard the term “Compassion Fatigue!” It is a common reality in ministry. We are caregivers, called to pour our lives into the hurts and wounds of others. Sometimes it becomes simply too much. There is no shame or judgment attached to this malady. It is a sign that we are human. John Donne wrote these famous lines in 1623 – ‘the loss of every man, diminishes me.’ In the ‘rough and tumble’ world of caregiving, unless we are vigilant, we begin to accumulate and carry the burdens of others until the weight of our own burden reaches the tipping point. Suddenly, we find ourselves in an emotional overdraft. What we may not understand is that every conversation, every appointment, every visit, every church function extracts emotional capital from our account. There is a limit to that capital, and when we reach it, we reach it.
Our good friend AI (not AL) gives us this definition for Compassion Fatigue. “It is a state of profound emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion resulting from prolonged exposure to empathy and the care of others’ suffering.” That nails the definition down quite well.
How can we know if we are skating near the edge of the emotionally safe ice? Over the years, as I have worked with myriad church leaders of all ages and positions, I have come to recognize common markers.
Below is a list of questions you may ask yourself to determine your present state. Please remember, dishonesty with yourself only exacerbates the issue. There is no redemptive value in deceiving yourself.
Try these questions on to see if any of them fit:
Why am I feeling emotionally numb?
Why am I trying to avoid the problems of others right now?
Why am I finding myself unusually irritable and short-tempered over minor things?
Why am I having trouble with personal motivation?
Why do I feel that, despite what I am doing, I am making very little difference?
Why am I constantly exhausted?
Why do I just want to be somewhere else?
Why do I catch myself frequently sighing deep sighs?
Why will my mind not stop racing, keeping me awake in the night?
Why am I thinking of the future with dread?
If any of these, or a combination of the above, applies to you, it’s time to back away for a period of convalescence. No military leader leaves troops perpetually in battle. The Captain of our salvation is wise and caring, inviting us to a place of rest and reprieve. Those who remain in vocational ministry for the long haul do so because they have learned the value of honest self-evaluation and are not reticent to seek help.
If you are experiencing any of the symptoms above, give me a call and let’s talk about it. I can introduce you to the Thriving Leader Plan. You and your family will never regret the time you personally spend on self-care. Neither will your church resent it. As you flourish, so will they.
Al is an experienced pastor and counselor who works out of our ABNWT District Resource Centre in Edmonton as the Pastoral Care Coordinator. A pastor to the pastors, Al is a friend, mentor, and confidante to all.