Weeping in the Night
“This poor man cried to the Lord …”
Thirty-three percent of the 150 Psalms are cries of lament. If one includes other Psalms containing verses of lament, the number rises to seventy percent.
In 1963, in a tongue-in-cheek country song, Lesley Gore crooned, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to." The lyrics contain the implied truth that 'party and pain' coexist in every life.
The natural human response to calamity is lament: the expression of grievance and sorrow. As followers of Christ, we often perceive it as an unacceptable weakness. But there is no shame in lament nor guilt in grief. Suffering is a part of our human experience. Lament is a God-given safety valve that processes it in a healthy way. It's a normal part of our journey, not a sign of failure.
The danger arises when lament becomes the destination rather than a rest stop on the way to a much brighter place. Unabated lament creates a weariness of spirit and a cynicism towards the possibility of beauty in life. Lament without some antidote creates hopelessness, mental anguish, and far too often premature death.
Once again, the Gospel comes through with the prescription. It provides a way of turning lament into victory.
As deep as the Psalmist's pain, it never settles there. "This poor man cried to the Lord - and the Lord delivered him." As deep and all-consuming as the pain and agony might be, David finds his hope in the conviction that God is good and trustworthy.
The message of Scripture is a message of sustaining hope. Romans 5:3-5 – "... we glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, HOPE. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
Apart from the indwelling Spirit of God, none of us can produce the fruit of the spirit listed in Galatians 5:22. Love, Joy, Peace, etc. are all sourced in the 'inner man' and find their outward expression through the actions and attitudes of the spirit-led believer. Any attempt to humanly manufacture these gifts comes short. There is only greater sorrow in the cheap substitutes, and hope is lost. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
There is great value in lament, if it is understood to be a 'rest stop' and not a terminus.
Honesty - Jesus, in His final hours, cried out to God in the Garden of Gethsemane. Those gut-wrenching sobs, accompanied by sweat drops of blood, describe perhaps the most graphic example of lament ever penned. In those moments, we see Jesus as a human who is completely vulnerable and honest. There is no façade.
Several years ago, dear Pastor friends of ours lost a young son to cancer. It was devastating. Feeling they had to set a faith example to their congregation, they suppressed their lament. Ultimately, both parents came close to a mental breakdown and were dangerously close to marriage dissolution.
God can handle our most honest grievances, our railing against the exigencies and inequities of life. He is not troubled by our anger, frailty, or most profound lament. "He knows our frame, He remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:14
In that place of honest expression, our faith and trust in God hold us anchored and prove He is El Shaddai (sufficient for every situation).
Honestly, the best way to regain hope is to admit that we have temporarily lost sight of it.
My greatest lessons in life and faith have not come in the high moments of glory and glitz. I have been instructed more in my weeping than in my worshipping. Nowhere else is faith deepened or trust matured as much as through lament in pain and loss. Lament can transform us, deepening our faith and maturing our trust in God's plan. In one of his brilliant moments, Peter answered Jesus' question, "Are your disciples going to leave as well as the others?" Peter replied, "Where would we go? You are the One who has the words of eternal life." (John 6:68) There is great possibility for personal growth when we recognize we have nowhere else to go.
In those 'Where else could we go?' life circumstances, we learn that God stands unchanging and faithful. He is just on the other side of our most profound lament.
The strongest tree in the forest is the one which has faced the fiercest storms. So those who are rooted in Christ grow most through their storms.
Some of the most famous works of art have come out of deepest lament and greatest desperation. (Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan is one such example.) There are levels of artistic poetry that can only be recognized and released by those bruised by life.
Journaling your way through the feelings of lament is a wonderful way to secure its intrinsic value. When we chronicle our journey, we can recapture the importance of each chapter as we move through it.
Presence - We greatly appreciate water when our thirst is most pronounced. When water is in abundance, we take it for granted. So it is with God's Presence.
The greatest awareness of our need for God's Presence comes when we have a frightening sense of His absence. "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?" (Psalm 22:1, Mark 15:34)
A desperation born out of lament drives us to seek the Presence of God. In that night season, tortured as we may feel, we have a certain promise that, "If we seek Him, we will find Him, if we search for Him with all our heart." (Jeremiah 29:13).
Millions have proven that the refreshing presence of God waits just beyond the shadowy curtain or their saddest lament.
"Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
"I am worn out from sobbing, all night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears." Psalm 6:6 NLT These words were recorded by David, a King, a devastated father, a desperate victim. He is human in every way: fallible and sinful. But this same David is commended as a man after God's heart. (Acts 13:22)
Let's permit ourselves to lament when the pressures of life demand it. And let's understand that lament is not an enemy but a necessary milepost on the pathway to healing and greater victory.
Al is an experienced pastor and counselor who works out of our ABNWT District Resource Centre in Edmonton as the Pastoral Care Coordinator. A pastor to the pastors, Al is a friend, mentor, and confidante to all.