I Shouldn't Feel this Way and Other Lies About Mental Wellness
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. In my lifetime, there has never been more significance to that designation than in 2020. As one who has walked this journey, I offer a few recommended steps that I have learned through hard experience.
1. Be HONEST with yourself. Do not try to talk yourself out of your feelings. “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “My admission of emotional weakness shows a lack of faith,” and other such self-deprecating language is not helpful. Adding personal guilt to your emotional status intensifies feelings and prolongs potential recovery. Admit your feelings to yourself without shame.
2. Be HELP FOCUSSED. You should not, and in some cases cannot, recovery on your own. As the last months have demonstrated, we were never intended to do this journey in isolation. Confiding in someone you trust is a vital step in the process of recovery. There is significant benefit in verbally expressing to another the emotions you are feeling. The darkness of isolation deepens anxiety and depression. Healing comes when darkness is expressed and exposed. The longer you suffer alone, the deeper your condition will spiral. The deeper emotional illness becomes embedded, the longer the recovery time and the greater the potential for regression.
3. Be HUMBLE. Some, who I refer for medical examination, tell me that they have not found help from their doctor. Invariably, I discover that pride and embarrassment have kept them from revealing their true feelings. Remember, your doctor is a physician not a prophet. Physicians are only able to respond to the information you give them. Be completely candid and expose the truth of your emotional condition. The physician will not think less of you. You can only be helped if you are forthcoming and comprehensive in your disclosure.
In some cases of emotional depletion, body chemistry must be re-calibrated. This could require a regimen of medication. There is no shame in taking prescribed medication. I have needed to boost my serotonin levels with prescribed pills for 31 years. It is vital that you push yourself past socially imposed taboos against anti-depressants and the like. The doctor is your friend. It is important to follow the guidance given. Serotonin and Endorphin levels often need to be balanced before rational, normal thought patterns can be re-established.
4. Be HOPEFUL– Even if it is just a spark of hope deep inside you, keep it alive. If your concentration does not allow you to read the Psalms, listen to them on an audio program. The entrance of God’s Word gives light. (Psalm 119:130 – NKJV). Converse with optimistic, positive people who add encouragement and promise to your life. Limit your exposure to the ‘negatively charged’ media. If you are able, take long walks. It is clinically proven that serotonin is generated naturally when we walk. Remember, this is a season and no season lasts forever. Things will get better: you will get better. There is a perfect, eternal plan, orchestrated by God. It eclipses all the temporary pain and pressure we experience at any given moment in life. You are in that plan and you are a certain part of that plan. Millions before us have proved that God is to be trusted.
NEED HELP NOW – The ABNWT District Pastoral Care Resource Centre recommends the FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CLERGY CRISIS LINE. There are certified mental health professionals ready to talk with you. Call 1 800 5 CLERGY (1 800 525 3749). Please do not struggle with an emotional crisis on your own.
Al is an experienced pastor and counselor who works out of our ABNWT District Resource Centre in Edmonton as the Pastoral Care Coordinator. A pastor to the pastors, Al is a friend, mentor, and confidante to all.