When You Want to Give Up
When you want to give up... Remember the Alphabet (ABCDEF)
Although the actual numbers are debatable, we know that a host of pastors leave ministry in North America each month.
Remember when we confidently strode across the stage in cap and gown, the possibilities seeming endless, our calling certain. What happened? Why has a brilliant, optimistic start turned into a faltering statistic? Why is what we considered a delight, now an intolerable burden?
Are there safeguards we can build into our leadership life to ensure we continue strong and fulfilled in the pastoral role? Below I have listed an ABCDEF collection of decisions that will help us to persevere and prosper. They all relate to a refusal to allow the devil to isolate us from community.
A – Avoid the Elijah Syndrome – On the heels of his greatest victory, Elijah succumbed to a ‘victim’ mentality. “I alone am left as a prophet in Israel, and they are trying to kill me.” God had to remind him that his perspective was entirely wrong. There were still seven thousand who were true prophets. He was not nearly as alone as he imagined. As alone as you may feel in leadership at times, you are never really alone. There are always others of same mind and heart who love you and are cheering for you. Refuse to be a victim. Find those who can bring encouragement.
B – Back away from the crisis of the moment – Mark Twain stated: ‘most of the tragedies in my life never happened.’ In other words, they were scenarios existing only in his imagination. I admit that, when I face a crisis, my first response is a panicked desire to correct the situation. All my energies and resources are directed at the immediate challenge. However, I have lived long enough to discover that in six days, six weeks, six months, the power of the trauma has abated. It has not destroyed me, and I am back on even keel. Decisions made in the heat of the moment are usually wrong ones.
C – Communicate with someone you trust. Negative emotions which are expressed to friends in a trusted environment lose their power to control our minds. Dark, solitary places provide a perfect place for hurt and despair to grow. James is not spouting platitudes when he tells us to ‘confess our faults to one another so we can be healed.’ It’s not an easy step but it is a necessary one. Trust may be violated, but the risk and reward is well worth it.
D – Decide to live in community. We can learn from the animal kingdom. A wounded animal tends to withdraw from the rest of the herd, crawl off to some solitary place, and gradually fade away. That is also our first tendency. We tend to run away from help rather than embrace it. Yet, we were created for community and cannot thrive without it. We are the ‘Body of Christ, the Family of God, the Ekklesia for a God-intended reason. I have noted that the deviant behaviour of Christian leaders, who fall into disgrace, begins with a withdrawal from accountability to their own community of believers.
E – Engage a counselor or coach. God has strategically placed ‘help’ gifts in people who have honed and trained those gifts, becoming skillful in their care for others. It is never a mistake, nor should it be an embarrassment, to seek such help. It is time and money well invested. Preventative counsel wins out over remedial counsel every time.
F – Face your future with renewed confidence. The present may be trying, the crisis challenging, your faith faltering but one thing remains constant; the God whom we love and serve is ‘I AM.’ He sees the whole picture. His plans for our life and destiny is not compartmentalized into small cellular moments of crisis, but is a completed panoramic tapestry. He knows our frame, He remembers we are dust, but He commits Himself to us anyway. In Him we live and move and have our being. So, go for a nature walk, observe the intricate beauty around you, watch a sunrise or sunset, remember the promise of the rainbow. God has the whole thing under control and you, his chosen, are in the centre of the grand design.