The Irrelevance of Family
Okay, so the title of the blog was just to rope you in. But, please take three minutes to read the following thoughts.
I was blessed to grow up in a traditional family environment. While we were very poor in material things, the bonds among us were very strong. We loved one another, affirmed one another, depended on and protected each other. At times, we even disagreed with one another, but never at the expense of broken relationships.
The unique thing about my family was our disparity in age. If 25 years denotes the commencement of a new generational cycle, the interval of years between my father’s birth in 1875 and mine in 1951 represented the dawn of nearly four such generations. My eldest half-sister was 50 years my senior. My youngest half-sister was exactly the same age as my mother. Even though we, as siblings, all were alive and healthy at the same time, because of distance and expense, we were never able to all meet together in one setting. A unique situation indeed, but strangely, warmly, abnormally functional as well. We were family and family trumped all the disparity.
We have just completed our 2020 Minister’s Gathering where our District PAOC tribe gathered. It felt very much like a big family celebration. Indeed, there was a huge disparity in age. Our eldest attendee, Rev Ken Gaetz, at 92 years of age, was rightfully honoured. The rest of us hung on the words of wisdom coming out of his life narrative as a pioneer in the Northwest Territories. Our youngest attendees, were literally babies in arms. Every generation between those two extremes was well represented and acknowledged. We were there to love one another, affirm one another, depend on and protect each other. At times, we may have disagreed with one another, but never at the expense of broken relationships.
I was adopted into the PAOC tribe from another denominational background 51 years ago. Deep and lasting friendships have been formed that have tided me over and through tough times. Family has believed in me and my calling when I didn’t have the strength to believe in it myself. Family has prayed me through, encouraged me through and, at times, pushed me through to the next chapter of victory.
One of the most destructive lies in secular and Christian culture is that we do not need each other. I have lived long enough to witness the folly of that lie, in the destruction of numerous lives and ministries. “Going it alone” is a certain formula for personal disaster and ultimately corporate collapse.
I will do my utmost to convey this message to the Millennial and Generation Z leaders in our fellowship, leaders who are battling with the insidious minimalizing of meaningful relationships and the increasing isolating of individuals within the orbit of their own pain. In turn, I challenge young church leaders to fight tenaciously for family values, acknowledging and honouring all generations both in their nuclear setting and in their corporate church setting. We are not only ‘better together,’ our long-term survival depends on our relational health at home and in our faith communities.
Remember the children’s ditty – “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family”? Healthy church function is no more profound than that. It was God who ordained family, God who instituted faith community. It is God’s way, His preferred way, His only way. When we tamper with His plan, we contribute to our own demise.
I plan to be at Ministers Gathering even if four friends have to carry me in on a litter. That’s where my family is, that’s where God commands His blessing. Who would want to miss that?